Relationships & Marriage – Commitment Has Nothing to do With Unconditional Love

Relationships & Marriage – Commitment Has Nothing to do With Unconditional Love

Recently someone told us that he wants to marry and grow

old with his girlfriend. But to his disappointment, she told

him that true love is unconditional, without expectations,

and that he should be happy just to be with her without

any promises. He said that he thinks she really doesn’t

love him because she won’t go into a legal, committed,

monogamous relationship.

He wants a “long-lasting” commitment, and his girlfriend

wants no conditions and expectations.

True, unconditional love includes no expectations. No

expectations of your mate to be who you want them

to be. No expectations of the relationship lasting “forever.”

No expectations of ownership. No expectations if you two

grow apart. No expectations if one of you loses interest in


We agree with his girlfriend. Unconditional love, which

is the highest form of love, involves loving someone as

they are and wanting nothing in return for that love. Not

money. Not exclusivity. Not a contract. Nothing.

If he were fully without demands and expectations and

approached his girlfriend in this way, he would want what’s

best for her, not just what he desires.

Granted, we need to look at this from his perspective

too. What is he afraid of if he doesn’t have a long-lasting

commitment from his girlfriend? Is he concerned about

losing her, maybe about being alone? Is he worried about

finances or perhaps about who will care for him in old age?

He needs to realize that he’ll be okay if the relationship

doesn’t last forever and that the only true, lasting love is

self love.

Copyright © 2007 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

leave your comment