Relationships & Marriage – Commitment Has Nothing to do With Unconditional Love
Recently someone told us that he wants to marry and grow
old with his girlfriend. But to his disappointment, she told
him that true love is unconditional, without expectations,
and that he should be happy just to be with her without
any promises. He said that he thinks she really doesn’t
love him because she won’t go into a legal, committed,
He wants a “long-lasting” commitment, and his girlfriend
wants no conditions and expectations.
True, unconditional love includes no expectations. No
expectations of your mate to be who you want them
to be. No expectations of the relationship lasting “forever.”
No expectations of ownership. No expectations if you two
grow apart. No expectations if one of you loses interest in
We agree with his girlfriend. Unconditional love, which
is the highest form of love, involves loving someone as
they are and wanting nothing in return for that love. Not
money. Not exclusivity. Not a contract. Nothing.
If he were fully without demands and expectations and
approached his girlfriend in this way, he would want what’s
best for her, not just what he desires.
Granted, we need to look at this from his perspective
too. What is he afraid of if he doesn’t have a long-lasting
commitment from his girlfriend? Is he concerned about
losing her, maybe about being alone? Is he worried about
finances or perhaps about who will care for him in old age?
He needs to realize that he’ll be okay if the relationship
doesn’t last forever and that the only true, lasting love is
Copyright © 2007 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo